In our ongoing series of Deep Dives, we bring together professionals and parents to discuss topics like paid parental leave, new parenthood, and the challenges and joys of balancing work and family life. In our most recent conversation on Instagram, we were fortunate to have Alex Escamilla-Rosenberg - new father and Parento parent - share his experiences with parent coaching and paternity leave. Joined by Tiarra Hamlett, Director of Marketing, and Amanda Hemm, Director of Parent Experience, this discussion delved into the significance of support systems for new parents, the benefits of coaching, and the importance of family-friendly policies in the workplace.
Not only is Alex a dad in this space, he’s been a very engaged dad from the beginning. He has been going through the whole journey to new parenthood with eyes wide open and a lot of intention. Alex and his wife embarked on their journey to parenthood cautiously, having experienced early miscarriages, they were cautious at the beginning and then started thinking about how to announce. Not long before his wife got pregnant, Rescue partnered with Parento to offer leave for both parents, which played a crucial role in his ability to support his wife during the pregnancy.
Parento works with employers, like Rescue, to help them offer paid parental leave programs to their employees. Included is the Parent Experience program that’s available to all employees, ensuring that working parents are supported and cared for not just when they return to work, but starting at the very beginning. How are you announcing, how are you preparing, how can this be a point of professional growth, and what do you need to do at home to get ready? And what do you do in this “messy middle” when the new baby arrives?
“[Parento’s Program] made us stronger as a couple and as parents. Best coaching, therapy, mentorship is the best we’ve had.” - Alex Escamilla-Rosenberg
Alex highlighted the transformative impact of parent coaching, which provided a supportive space for discussing both the joys and challenges of new parenthood. Alex admitted that he wasn’t sure what parent coaching was at first, but he and his wife decided to give it a try as new parents. New parenting can feel very isolating, so this dedicated space for coaching creates a safe space for questions and vulnerability for parents. Especially as they had different experiences than what’s usually shared or “instagram-friendly.”
“The amazing thing about Parento coaches is that they’ve worked with tons of other parents. So as first time parents, all the things that you go through that aren't the typical birth or parenting experience, instagram friendly, rosy stuff that you hear about… things that can feel isolating because you may be the only parent in your life experiencing that, the parent coaching normalizes it." - Alex Escamilla-Rosenberg
By engaging in coaching sessions early on, Alex and his wife felt empowered to navigate various aspects of parenting, from setting boundaries to preparing for the "messy middle" after the baby's arrival. Before pregnancy, parents have big plans about what type of parent you want to be, it’s easy to get caught up in the “should storm” and information overload. How do you get out of your own way? These are skills that support at home but also support at work, as a working parent.
The best time to plan for a return to work is before taking parental leave. Alex and his wife were fortunate to each have 3 months of paid leave, so they planned their leave to maximize the time off with their baby.
"There’s no company benefit that could be as valuable as 3 months paid with my daughter. That’s time that will never be taken away from us. It was the most special thing for us. A stay at home parent is harder than any other full-time job I’ve ever done. There are no breaks, no walking away.” - Alex Escamilla-Rosenberg
Alex’s employer, Rescue, is very family friendly and his company was very supportive. Having the policy with Parento built in and being gender neutral, there was never any question about taking a leave - even as a dad. When he announced that he was expecting a baby, he knew that he was telling his company that he would be taking 12 weeks off work. He understands how fortunate he is to have that time, especially as a dad. His team was supportive and he appreciates that they locked him out of his work email and calendar because he was able to be on full parental leave. During his leave, his baby was his only priority, giving him the time and space to figure out a routine and learn how to be his daughter’s parent.
Alex and his wife strategically structured the leave around the benefits it provided for their family. Specifically, they planned intermittent leave to maximize their time with their newborn daughter while minimizing childcare costs. This approach allowed Alex to develop his own routines as a father and foster a strong bond with his daughter, emphasizing the invaluable nature of paid parental leave.
“I’ve seen so many dads who can’t take any time or just a few days, and the mom becomes the default parent who has to take a step back from her career.” - Alex Escamilla-Rosenberg
This time allowed him as a father to develop his own routine, learn how hard it is to care for a baby all day. A mom usually is the default parent and is the one that learns and develops the routines and cues. To have his own time and space to learn how to be his daughter’s parent was so incredible and he feels so close to her.
Alex commended his employer's family-friendly policies, which normalized parental leave and supported both birthing and non-birthing parents. Alex empathized with parents facing the absence of paid leave and encouraged them to leverage available resources, from reaching out to HR to seeking support from fellow parents. He emphasized the importance of community and self-advocacy in navigating the demands of parenthood without formal support structures. To best advocate for such policies within workplaces, he suggested evidence-based approaches and highlighting the long-term benefits for employee retention and satisfaction.
Here are some key takeaways from this conversation:
Through the insights shared by Alex during our Deep Dive conversation, we gain a deeper understanding of the transformative impact of parent coaching and supportive workplace policies on the journey into parenthood. Besides implementing gender-neutral paid parental leave policies, companies can encourage parents to block off their calendars for school pick-ups or offer small things like having a parent Slack channel to connect or promoting a Photo Friday where employees can share pictures of their families. By fostering a culture of support and advocacy, we can empower all parents to navigate the joys and challenges of raising a family while thriving in their professional lives.
